Yes we will be married 58 years on February 21st, 2011.  It all started at a mutual friend’s house.  When we met,  I never stopped winking at Ruth. It was just a must to do. We talked, walked and dated and after coming out of the service,  we married in 1953.  

Our friends and family said that it would never last.  The few that are still around can see that it did, and it was, and is as great as ever.  We have two lovely daughters, and six grandchildren.  

Ruth worked as an administrative assistant in York College, and I worked at several financial houses and the New York Times. Our move to Briarcliff Manor was one of the best we ever made.  I enjoyed the years that I volunteered at the SPCA shelter and the "Puppies Behind Bars" program.  

Ruth loves to read, cook and watch "Book TV".    She adds that  the key to a long & happy marriage is " Tolerating what is unimportant. Looking at the alternative and realizing that not being together is not the answer. One must go on & accept things as they are now, people give up too easily today."

Sam agrees and adds that it helps if the couple has a "great example with their  parents’  marriage and how they kept it going.  Yes, It is always great at the beginning, but there are unexpected and unforseen bumps in the path…there are always stumbling blocks in a good relationship..work things out, think about what you can say and do. And think about the original commitment you made and don’t throw in the towel. Look for the happiness always."

 

 

I taught him how to dance at that wedding. In Sept.1955, He was in the airforce and stationed in Maine so we could not date until he got leave. He  was then transferred to  Puerto Rico where he remained for two years from there he was discharged. We then started dating and in got engaged after six months.  Six months after that, we got married May 30,1959 at St.Martin of Tours Church. The Church all of  us friends got married in so many years ago. 

We have two daughters both are married. We Lived in Westchester for 30 years, now live in Danbury, CT. To this date we are still in touch with Mr. and Mrs. Dechiario,and Mr.and Mrs. Coleman all of whom came from same neighborhood still friends  70yrs later.  The secret to a happy marriage: "Be friends first and If you’re angry or disagree, get it out & forget it!"  

 

Paul and Beth met during the summer of 1954 while swimming at a large quarry in New Hampshire where lots of teens went to swim.  Paul and his friend, Jack Tibbetts went to the Quarry where they met Beth and her friend, Carolyn Wyeth. It was the  Labor Day holiday weekend.  Paul started dating Beth and Jack started dating Carolyn.  Paul enlisted in the US Army in January of 1955, served for three years, and following his discharge in December of 1957, married Beth on August 30th, 1958 in Townsend, Massachusetts.

 Paul and Beth both believe that one of the main reasons why their marriage has lasted over 52 years is that they both have a personal faith in God and a reverance for the Bible.  "In the early years of our marriage, we also realized that joy and happiness do not come with having material possessions.  We both believe that life is about love and have worked diligently at having an unselfish love and to be thankful for what we did have together.  God blessed us with 4 children and 10 grandchildren whom we love very much.  Our family has always been our first priority and our commitment to them continues to this day.  A loving family is the greatest gift you can have."

  

We met at a College of New Rochelle event. I was there for a literary discussion to discuss Tennessee Williams and Shakespeare and thought I could shake up the Ursuline nuns at the all-girls college by showing how Billy Shakespeare’s writing was every bit as violent and filled with love, forbidden and otherwise, back in the day as Tenn’s was in ours. Afterwards, there was a social mixer, and Stephanie was serving eggnog and one of my Fordham buddies on the track team with me commented on how beautiful she was and said he was going to ask her to dance. Out of sheer competitiveness, I cut him off (I used to run lead off leg on the mile and two mile relays for Fordham as a track scholarship athlete).

I asked Steph to dance and we have been dancing together ever since. That was in December, close to Christmas (hence the eggnog) of 1957. I was a junior English/Journalism major out of Little Italy off Fordham Road in the Bronx, she was a sophomore speech major from Van Houten Fields in West Nyack who went on to become president of CNR’s Props and Paints theatre group.

We married a year after her college graduation from CNR (Steph graduated in 1959, we kiddingly used to say CNR stood for the College of No Romance) when I was fresh out of the Army (direct commission from enlisted man to first lieutenant) and at the start of my career with The NY Daily News, going on to become, among other things, a globe-trotting, nationally-syndicated travel writer, columnist, editor, arts critic (including theatre and ballet) and more. Our wedding date: Oct.15, 1960 (I had trouble getting off from work because of the World Series). Steph was a speech therapist for a while in Rockland, then stayed home to raise our four no longer kids (a college professor, creative copy writer, nurse and psychologist, two boys, two girls, ranging in age from 40 to 48 at what I used to say was two year Jesuitically spaced intervals).

As the kids grew up,  Steph went on to become an IBM executive as well as the author of a best selling book called "The Daily Reader of Contemplative Living,’ now in its fourth printing (at least). We both, by the way, are also senior aerobics instructors for various area YMCAs. I am long-since retired from The NY Daily News. But still write regularly for regional and national publications And Steph, an ex-dancer, also teaches Zumba, the aerobics dance craze.

Our secret to a long & happy marriage, if there is one, is to accept one another as we are, not as we’d like each other to be. We forgive if not forget but conveniently develop amnesia about some things. We focus on the positives. We appreciate the ongoing adventure of getting to know one another better every day. We are continually amazed by the bond that comes from having children and grandchildren. And our shared experiences have led to a love that surpasses all understanding.

  

Our  50+ year marriage started off with a bang on July 4,1959, and it has been "fireworks" ever since.

 We met on a blind date.  The couple who introduced us broke up shortly thereafter, but we realized that we very much wanted to stay together. 

We grew up and were married in The Bronx.For the last 41 years, we have resided in Ossining, NY.  We have two wonderful children and two amazing grandchildren. 

We love to attend the theatre and concerts, and we love to travel. We are, at the same time, each other’s best friend, strongest supporter and harshest critic.  We’ve been through "for better or worse", "in sickness and in health" and "for richer and poorer" for over 51 years, and we hope to be able to do so for many years to come.   

Our advice to a newly married couple is that while marriage should be a 50-50 proposition, there are times when it will be 60-40 one day, and 10-90 the next day, as long as it evens out over time.  It should never be 0-100 or 100-0, where one spouse comletely dominates the other.

 My husband Joe and I just celebrated our 50th Anniversary on Jan 21, 2011.  We have been happily married all these years and have four sons, four wonderful daughters-in  -law, and nine beautiful grandchildren. 

      

 One day in early September of 1953,  I decided to change my job.  I worked for a CPA who had a very large office and I wanted to find a smaller practice.  I was a secretary and stat typist.  So, I found a small accounting firm that had four accountants and was offered the job.  For the first two weeks all accountants except one came to the office.  This one checked in by phone from a client every day.  He sounded very nice and had a beautiful sounding voice. He walked into the office after two weeks and I thought he was so cute with big blue eyes.  We just talked business during the next few weeks and then one evening in late Sept. we were alone in the office and while I was typing a many column report,  he came over to me and started rocking my chair and asked me when I was going to ask him out.  I said, "Sorry, but you have to ask me out" and the subject was dropped.  (Those days girls did not approach boys)  This went on until the end of December whenever we were alone in the office.  Then the end of December, he asked me when I’m going to ask him out for New Year’s Eve.  As before, I said you have to do the asking.  He did not ask.  I went out on a date for New Year’s eve and the next Tuesday we are alone again and he asked me if I had a good time with my date. I said very nice and then he said "you would have had a better time with me" I turned around and said "Julie would you take me out Saturday night?" He had a surprised look on his face and said "She really means it"  We went out and had a great time and continued seeing one another.  In October we became engaged and were married the following May. 

   

They met many many years ago when they both worked at a ladies undergarment factory in Poughkeepsie.  My mother worked in the stock department and my father worked in the cutting department.

 

My mother used to find my father staring at her and one day my sarcastic mother asked "Would you like a picture?" to which he replied "Absolutely!".

 

Shortly after, they were officially introduced and would take lunchtime walks together with my father whistling or humming the songs of his favorite entertainer, Louis Prima.  He even tried to impress my mom with his rendition of "Oh, Marie."

 

Each evening my father would walk my mother to the bus depot after work for her return to her home in Highland. They eventually both left Stardust to work at IBM.  They finally married in 1954.  Their marriage produced 7 children (all currently married) and eventually 15 grandchildren.

My mother is still a bit sarcastic today and my father is still humming those Louis Prima songs.

 

So,  I proposed the question to them on what they thought was the secret to achieving a long & happy marriage. Oh boy, that was interesting….

 My father, the comedian he thinks he is first said: "There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for your mother and there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for me and that’s just what we do for each other……Nothing."

Then he thought better of this answer and said "Oh no, you better not write that".  So, he then gave me his ABCs of a happy marriage:

A – Admit you are wrong even when you are right.

B-   Be honest – at least 90% of the time

       Be quiet & listen

       Be on time

       Behave

C-    Checkbook – make sure there’s enough money in the checkbook for when she wants to go shopping.

My mother, a  quiet woman of few words,said,  "Don’t expect perfection from each other but always respect one another."

 We are so blessed that they said "I Do, I Do" 57 years ago.